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I (25F) found out my long term boyfriend’s (26) family doesn’t know about me.

2022.01.27 21:13 One-Persimmon-65 I (25F) found out my long term boyfriend’s (26) family doesn’t know about me.

This will be super long, but there’s so many tiny decisions, personalities and nuances to this story that led us here. I’m going to lay it all out.
My boyfriend and I met almost three and a half years ago. At the time, he was a year out of college working a good starter job in the career path his father and grandfather had excelled in.
I was a senior in college who was really struggling physically with an undiagnosed autoimmune disorder and mentally with the overwhelming thought of entering adulthood. I’d been depressed for so long I’d never bothered to plan that far ahead. Honestly, I partied quite a bit as well. I was a mess.
We met and fell for each other instantly. We haven’t gone a day without each other since the very first night. He had only been in town visiting family, but we made it work from two different states.
My last semester of college, a new job brought him closer to me (only about 1.5 hours away) and we just grew closer. He was so sweet and attentive to my needs. If I was really struggling he’d make the drive over to spend the night with me even though it meant waking up at 4:30 am to make it to work. He was 100% supportive of me making the most of the college time I had left, encouraged me to go out with friends and was never controlling. (A big relief after a previous abuse relationship) Even still today, when he’s around all my worries and stress slip away.
His parents lived near by and I was introduced early on. He is their golden child and he cares very deeply for them. That being said, they are not open about their feelings and very reserved.
My family was the opposite of his. I grew up in the south on government assistance, my parents were divorced twice and I had to grow up and become independent pretty young. These days my mom and I are more like friends than mothedaughter and my dad and I frequently aren’t on speaking terms.
His dad has a high paying, high profile job and came from a wealthy family. His mom came from a poor family, but you’d never know it. She’s beautiful, poised, classy and i honestly look up to here. My BF tries his hardest to be down to earth, but he’s also never shopped at a dollar store or lived without a housekeeper.
Anyway, my relationship with his parents seemed fine at first. It started with little things, but gradually bigger issues started to occur.
Some highlights: -they told him it made them uncomfortable I didn’t address them formally, so I made a concerted effort to always call them MMrs. -I was over at his parents house pretty late one night and he insisted I stay the night with him. I was very uneasy and knew I should just drive home but he assured me they wouldn’t care. Spoiler: they cared. - I started being invited to social events with their wealthy friends. As a nervous 22 year old being continuously supplied with very expensive wine, I’m sure I made several social gaffes and didn’t always say the right thing. I was totally out of my element.
Then there was the big one: my last sorority party came around and it was on a week night. I didn’t ask him to come, but he know how happy it would make me. I had gone to most of them dateless and was insecure about it. We decided we would dress up, take pics, and be home by midnight so he could get some sleep before work. Both of his parents had been out of town and weren’t planning to be back. I had been taking care of their cat. The day of the party my bf offered to take care of the cat duties before meeting me.
BFs dad came home around ten that night to find BFs car in the driveway and the cat duties not fulfilled. They immediately called him irate that he would be out with me when he had work the next day. I wasn’t sure what was going on but I knew it was bad and I had never seen my bf scared like that. I had been drinking, but I decided to call his mother. I profusely apologized and offered to take all of the blame. I said BF had been very responsible and always made it to work on time (therefore revealing it wasn’t the first time he’d visited on a work night). I explained he wasn’t drunk but had a little to drink and with emotions being high I didn’t think it was best for him to find a way across town their house. By the end of the call I was a blubbering mess. He still ended up taking my car to their house around midnight. Apparently, they fought for hours.
I was embarrassed and continued to be apologetic. I believed everyone moved on and his mom even attended my graduation party. A few months later I got a good job and moved several hours away.
Over the following three years we had a pretty normal long distance relationship. We both agreed we should focus on our careers first and our future later, but we were still serious.
Opportunities for us to see each other could be scarce, but for those to line up with his parents busy schedules seemed impossible. Then COVID happened, and because of his dads high profile job “they had a very limited circle.” I understood and I was being careful as well. He’d only been able to see my family a handful of times, and they were way less busy.
That leads us to a few weeks ago. With the holidays coming excuses were flowing and I was getting suspicious and frustrated that I hadn’t been invited to any family events.
We were on the phone when it finally dawned on me, “Do your parents even know we are together?”
There was an excruciatingly long silence.
It came out that ever since that one party his parents demanded he break up with me. Right after I moved away, he told them we did.. but we didn’t. We continued dating for 2.5 years and they thought I was a thing of the past. 2.5 years of trips together, milestones, planning for marriage, pregnancy scares and even a loss.. that his family had no clue about.
He had never lied to me before, at least that I knew of. I trusted his word 100% completely. Apparently, they did too and never questioned his dating life. His friends all knew and looking back, I can see signs they were all hiding something.
2.5 years later I’ve been successful, I have a great job and just bought a house in one of the craziest real estate markets all by myself. BF quit his career in a life crisis moment and took a sales job he hates.
All my friends and family believe what I did, that we were in love and marriage was on the horizon. I am ready for the next step with the man I have dreamed of marrying and having children with for years.. but quite honestly his life is in shambles. I have been supportive and patient, spent $1000s on travel and even loaned him money (that he always returns).
He says he’s terrified to tell his parents he has been lying to them about us. Honestly I dread it too. Who are they going to blame- their golden boy or the girl they already hate?
I can’t help but feel if they knew me now they’d have to approve, but is it too late?
Where can we even go from here? I love him and he says he loves me. I don’t want to lose him.
Tldr: my boyfriend told his parents he broke up with me 2.5 years ago, but we’ve continued a serious relationship the whole time. Now I know about the lie, but what do I do?
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2022.01.27 21:13 TheLazyRaccoon President Boyd Is Reserving the Right to Enforce a Mask Mandate on UT Campuses

Yesterday, I received a Public Records Request from the University detailing a November 15th application for and granted section 14-6-102 exemption from the State Comptroller's office.
Because President Boyd received an exemption for UT's Mask Mandate, I was hard-pressed to think of anything preventing the issuance of a mask mandate on our campus.
When I inquired about this issue, I was pointed to the current lawsuit working through the court system COMMONWEALTH OF KENTUCKY et al. v. JOSEPH R. BIDEN.
The letter provides that "your entity's exemption has been granted to the extent necessary to conform to the contracts, subcontracts, or postsecondary grants as a condition to the receipt of federal funds." Therefore, once the injunction barring enforcement of the executive order happened on November 30th, I presume President Boyd read the exemption as ineffective because there was no further need to protect federal funding.
However, President Boyd is also free to adopt a different reading. The COMMONWEALTH OF KENTUCKY et al. v. JOSEPH R. BIDEN Order enjoins the "vaccine mandate" for all covered federal contracts in the state of Kentucky, Ohio, and Tennessee. However, the order does not make clear whether it enjoins masking or physical distancing in those three states. Thus by not enforcing a mask mandate, UTK could still be at threat of being denied federal funding, and as such, the 14-6-102 exemption is applicable.
To further support this position, the language in COMMONWEALTH OF KENTUCKY et al. v. JOSEPH R. BIDEN is similar to a nationwide injunction from THE STATE OF GEORGIA, et al. v. JOSEPH R. BIDEN that also put a halt to the federal contractor vaccine requirements. In that case, the government recently requested the lower Court to clarify its ruling. Specifically, the government asked whether the nationwide injunction applied to the entirety of Executive Order 14042 or only to the portion mandating vaccination by contractor employees. In response to this request, the Court issued another order on January 21st stating as follows:

"[T]he answer to the inquiry is evident from the language the Court used – as well as language the Court noticeably did not use – in issuing the injunction. The Court stated, 'Defendants are ENJOINED . . . from enforcing the vaccine mandate. . . .' While there was evidence before the Court indicating that other COVID-19 safety-related requirements were also established as a result of the Executive Order (i.e., masking and physical distancing requirements), the evidence and arguments presented to the Court in the parties' briefs and at the hearing . . . focused almost exclusively on the vaccination requirement, and the Court's Order on the Motion for Preliminary Injunction did not reference, discuss, or analyze any of the other COVID-19 safety-related requirements.
This reinforces the position that the scope of these injunctions is limited to the vaccine mandate and not the other requirements of Executive Order 14042. Thus President Boyd should adopt this reading and reinstate requiring a mask mandate on UT System Campuses to protect federal funding as permitted in the November 15th letter.
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2022.01.27 21:13 mc0908_ new manager cutting hours

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I started slimming world just before New year's eve so that I could enter 2022 lighter than I ended 2021. Since then, I've restarted couch 2 5k (currently on week 6, but have also been doing Parkrun every Saturday). I have changed my food to align with the slimming world plan (lots more vegetables and lean meat). I have only had one energy drink in that time. Energy drinks are my kryptonite.
I have lost 11.5lbs in 4 weeks. I won slimmer of the week on my second week and I got the slimmer of the month award tonight.
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